Once upon a time there was as young man called Steven Petrovic, whose ancestors came to this country from the faraway eastern mountains such a long time ago, that their names had become completely unrecognisable to him. His ancestors were miners that had left their homestead, lest their children fall prey to the horrors of the mine.
Steven Petrovic was a picker at the Fulfilment Centre. The Fulfilment Centre was located on the outskirts of Stellarwood Valley, where there was nothing but the Fulfilment Centre. Every day, he went down to the Fulfilment Centre. Every day, he pressed the ‘Clock Punch’ button on his phone before handing it off to his overseer. Every day, he took a product from the pod, placed it in a cart, sent it to the packers to put in boxes.
One day, in order to locate product #898127 ‘Cat Scratcher Laptop’, Steven had to walk down to the most remote corner of the Fulfilment Centre. The deeper he went, the more the sterile grey floor became littered with oily foil and brown boxes. All of a sudden, behind a pile of forgotten cardboard, he caught the eye of a young woman. An eye that looked like a shining green bauble. Her skin glittered all shades of blue and green as if covered with mica body butter. She didn't wear a yellow uniform like the other workers. The long dress that wrapped around her body was made of silken bubble wrap. Steven gazed at it, he could tell it was plastic, but it was like silk to the eye. If he were to dare touch her, he would even feel its silkiness. And then, he saw it, peeking from under her dress… a glossy green tail!
I need to get away, Steven thought. The older pickers told him about her, this bubble wrap girl. She is the one that loves to play tricks on young men. She is the Mistress.
Too late.
“Steven Petrovic. What are you doing staring at a maiden's beauty for free? People pay good money for a glimpse of me. Come closer.”
He was scared, but after all she was a girl, and he was a man, and his shame of showing emotion in front of a woman was stronger than his fear. From somewhere, he gathered the courage to say:
“Are you fucking kidding me, lady? I've overslept already. I can't even take a pee break as it is.”
She laughed at his boldness, though he was unsure whether it was in approval or jest.
“I've got a proposition for you that will relieve you of all your pee breaks,” she said. “Come closer. Don't let anybody see us.”
She motioned him to come to her lair, behind piles of discarded plastic, brown sellotape and cardboard. Seeing no other option, Steven followed.
Behind his feet, deep purple and petrol green rubber lizards, so small they could be swallowed, started forming a wave, pushing Steven to a box he could sit on.
“I've had my eye on you for a while. They call you Steven Petrovic," the Mistress said. "But do you know what they call me?”
“Mistress...” Steven said tentatively.
“Mistress of what?”
“Erm. Mistress of the Crap Mountain.”
“Exactly! Mistress of the Crap Mountain! And you know why?”
She left no time for Steven, awestruck and hazy, to think about the answer and continued her fiery speech:
“Because this Fulfilment Centre has made a mountain of crap in Stellarwood Valley! You keep throwing your shit that you want to dispose of straight into the valley. I cannot bear it any longer! Now, I could just flood the whole place, but this is your chance of becoming a hero. Unless, of course, you are afraid of what I have to offer.”
“I work in the Fulfilment Centre, what could I possibly be afraid of?” Steven said with his newly-found courage.
“Well, good, because that is just what I need. A man who has no fear left. Tomorrow, when you clock in, you will tell your overseer this: ‘The Mistress of the Crap Mountain has ordered you, you son of a bitch, to clear out Stellarwood Valley. If you continue to throw your crap out in this area, she will make sure to shake the earth so bad, you will never be able to rebuild your Fulfilment Centre again.""
Steven gulped.
The Mistress narrowed her eyes. “Have you understood, you who is not afraid of anyone?”
“Yes,” said Steven, “Mistress.”
He almost tripped over his own feet and pushed over the boxes as he left her den.
She shouted after him: “Don't forget the ‘you son of a bitch’ part. Do as I say, and I will marry you!”
Steven stopped, and with a final bout of courage, kicked the box that had fallen in front of his feet. “Marry? Fuck off, you're made of plastic! I might as well marry one of the blow-up dolls in these boxes!”
She laughed. “Fine, we'll negotiate later.”
Then, she vanished behind the heap of boxes, leaving foil and tape behind with her tail.
What was Steven to do? He couldn't imagine talking to his overseer like that, but he also couldn't image the kinds of things the Mistress would do to him if he didn't oblige. She could change the most rigid old plastic into silk and gemstones. Imagine what she could turn his soft flesh into! And the worst part was, the Mistress wasn't wrong. The overseer really was a son of a bitch.
He decided he had no other choice but to stand up to the overseer.
The next day, Steven didn't wait. He walked up to the overseer and said, without missing a beat, “The Mistress of the Crap Mountain has ordered you, you son of a bitch, to clear out Stellarwood Valley. If you continue to throw your crap out in this area, she will make sure to shake the earth so bad, you will never be able to rebuild your Fulfilment Centre again.”
The overseer's eye started twitching. Then, he slapped Steven in the face and yelled, “Are you drunk? Who is this Mistress you are talking about? I have a special task for you today that will help you come to your senses!”
There was nothing left to do. Steven simply started picking up products one by one. Suddenly, the usual numbness of his feet started feeling like lightness. He ran up and down the corridors with an unseen speed. Faster even, than the robot workers!
The supervisor was already rubbing his hands together in anticipation of giving a good scolding, as he walked over to see what Steven had done. But what did he see! Lo and behold, Steven had correctly sorted all the cat scratchers, all the epoxy snowballs, all the gewgaws they gave them, and more!
The overseer had to go back and consult with the upper middle manager. After a while, they emerged from their office and they told him, “Steve, we don't know where you got this speed from, and frankly we don't care. But we are willing to make you a deal: If you earn us a yearly profit within one day, we will do as your so-called Mistress says. We will move the Fulfilment Centre out of Stellarwood Valley. And we will give you a severance so big, you could live comfortably for a few years.”
So, the next day, Steven was back at it. Then, from out of the cardboard, the Mistress emerged again, and spoke.
“Steven Petrovic, there are some limits to the speed your human flesh can go. But do not fear.”
“I never fear,” answered Steven, “You know that.”
The Mistress smiled, and this time Steven was sure she was not mocking him. She made a gesture with her hand in the air, and all of the rubber lizards and plastic dolls came waddling over and started lifting products together with Steven.
“While you're at it,” she said, “Have you thought about my proposal?”
“Oh,” said Steven, suddenly sombre. “You mean... the marriage proposal.”
“Yes! Marry me, Steven Petrovic! Live with me and you will have all the splendour you can wish for. I've always wanted to marry a man with no fear.”
“I'm really sorry, Mistress, but I can't marry you. I already have a fiancée. Her name is Anne. And we don't have a lot of splendour, but I love her, and I want to marry her.”
“An honest man! Even better. This was a just test of your integrity, you know.”
The Mistress grabbed a box of plastic doll jewellery from a pod and turned it into real sapphire and ruby earrings. “Here is a present for your Anne.”
With the help of the lizards and the dolls, Steven made the board of managers their profit. So, it happened. The overseer of the board of managers gave Steven his severance, and the Fulfilment Centre was moved to Gumball Valley and the abandoned building got turned into a church for the surrounding villagers to worship in.
Steven was honoured as a hero by the Stellarwoodians for getting rid of the pollution. Soon, however, people in the area simply commuted to work in Gumball Valley. Not long after, the Mistress flooded what was left Stellarwood Valley. Some say it was because she was angry that her efforts had led to the building of a church, a site of heathen worship.
Many days passed, anchoring themselves in Steven’s skin, carving and dragging it. His severance pay ran out. His wife Anne sold the sapphires and rubies that were given to her, but that money ran out as well. Anne, who tried the best she could to understand her husband, who turned her head in awkwardness when she caught a glitter in his eye, who pushed him every time he mumbled ‘Mistress’ in his sleep.
One day, Steven went missing. Anne set out to find him, alone. It was only after looking for a long time, that she discovered a den in what remained of Stellarwood Valley.
Laid out on top of shimmering bubble wrap, with a small, plastic doll next to his hand, she found him. Upon realizing it was only his body, Anne threw herself down in tears. Wanting to take her husband’s hand to sob in it, she noticed that Steven’s fist was clutched, and something shone through his fingers. Gemstones! Her husband had risked his life for her to have a way out of poverty! But as she tried to take them from his hand, they turned into plastic snippets.
Some say it was the Mistress who was sitting next to him, shedding her tears for him, and for nobody else but him.
Well, what more is there to say? That's the Mistress. A bad man who meets her finds nothing but woe, a good man who meets her finds a little bit of joy. There is nothing to be learned from her story, other than ‘don’t meet her’. But every once in a while, a human comes around who can make her shed a tear.